No matter what type of conflict you are facing, being prepared is the key to getting the most out of the mediation process. 

Whether you are looking at divorce, a business dispute, personal injury, or any of the other myriad of conflicts that are ripe for mediation, the first step you should take – and the most important question you should ask – is, “what is it that I truly want?”  Going into the mediation session with this question answered can help you slice through all the extraneous issues and lend to making your mediation the most effective tool it can be to get you to a resolution.

Another good way to get ready for your mediation is to do a little research.  The internet can bring the knowledge of the world right to your desktop; take advantage of this resource to verse yourself in things like the mediation process, what to expect in your situation, and the vocabulary generally used in your dispute.  A little time spent making yourself comfortable in the topic area of your conflict will pay off in making you more confident at the mediation – it will also help you narrow your focus on the outcome you truly seek.

Along with doing some general research to prepare yourself, also do your homework on your own emotional positions.  Set a goal for what you want to accomplish and go into the mediation knowing what you want, and more importantly, why you want it.  If possible, try to talk to others who have gone through the process, use what worked for them and their experiences to help formulate that demands and goals you will approach the mediation with. Access some conflict coaching to better understand your interests versus your emotional positions.

Being prepared also helps you go into the mediation in a interest-based “thinking mode”, rather than an emotional “reactive mode”.  The difference between thinking and reacting is that when one is thinking – their contemplative self is assessing the situation and evaluating options in order to reach a feasible outcome.  Contrariwise, reacting is an emotional response when one is not prepared.  When our emotional core reacts spontaneously to information, especially if that information is stress inducing or unpalatable, the outcome is generally rash and often over-the-top.  These emotional reactions is just the opposite of what lends to an effective mediation.  Preparing beforehand allows you to sit down at the mediation table having thought out the different sides or facets of the conflict – and with a goal in mind, avoid emotional reactions that can jeopardize the success of the mediation.

Take the time to be prepared for your mediation.  You have made a good choice in deciding to take your dispute the mediation route, and will give your conflict the greatest chance of being swiftly resolved when you come to the table with a little preparation.

Additional Reading:

• Preparing For Mediation
• Desired Outcomes In Mediation
• Role of the Mediation Coordinator