Posts Tagged ‘agreement’

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Taxing Times – Ask the Right Questions

Wednesday, April 1st, 2009

The month of April is a beautiful time for rain, daffodils, and tax headaches.  This is crunch time – do you know who’s claiming the children?

Arguments about taxes can get messy when a couple with children is splitting up, and it gets worse when the parties aren’t familiar with the tax law.  Thousands of dollars may be at stake, especially if the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC) is involved.  There are exemptions, deductions, child tax credits, additional child tax credits – how do you sort it all out?

If the two of you can’t agree on how to fill out the forms, one of two things will happen.  Either the IRS will settle the argument for you – and you risk having to pay back some of your refund - or you can hire a tax professional to explain the rules in your situation and then hire a mediator to help the two of you make both short-term and long-term decisions.

So what are the right questions to ask?  Here are some suggestions for what to ask the tax professional.  When you know what you can and can’t legally do, it will help your mediation sessions go more smoothly.

  • First, ask what your filing status should be, especially if you are not divorced yet.  It may affect your ability to take certain tax credits.  Don’t forget to think ahead and ask how your tax status will change after the divorce.
  • Second, ask about the special rules for divorced or separated parents.  In some cases, you may be able to share tax benefits for each child.
  • Third, don’t forget to ask about Form 8332.  This form might turn out to be an annual event for you and your children’s other parent.

The IRS doesn’t really care which parent claims which child for which year, so long as the rules are followed and the parents don’t both try to get the same tax benefits at once.  With that much money involved, though, your best move is to find out your options, make an appointment to mediate those decisions ahead of time, and get them in writing.  At least you will have one less hassle at tax time!

Mediation Tips for Busy People

Monday, March 30th, 2009

If you have chosen mediation as the right path toward settling a lawsuit, you can do some simple steps to maintain as much control of the process as possible.  You might think this depends a lot on your adversary, but there are a few things that you can do ahead:

  • Have your paperwork all in one place.  Go back to our post on what to do before you arrive at our office.
  • Have a “Plan B”.  Plan A is your ideal agreement on every single issue, and Plan B is what you’ll settle for.  You might also consider a Plan C, which you could call “the last resort”, or the bottom line on what you would be willing to do to avoid an even more costly legal battle.  (Hint:  Lean toward win-win solutions.)
  • Write down – and be ready to explain – why Plan A is best in three sentences or less.  Think of this as a cost-benefit analysis.  You will sell your idea more quickly in mediation if you can present intelligent, concise reasons for someone else to agree with you.
  • Don’t go into mediation with a negative or aggressive attitude.  Speak to the other party as if they were your boss.  This isn’t personal – this is business.  Any amount of aggravation makes the process more time-consuming.
  • Imagine being patient while listening to the other party.  Besides helping them feel like you’re being respectful, the silence could be a great time to think about answering their concerns instead of reacting off the top of your head.  Interrupting each other and losing focus only makes the discussion longer.

This is not about moving right to Plan C so you can go back to work.  This is about using strategy to efficiently maximize your chances of agreeing on Plan A.  Your Mediation Coordinator at CFR will have specific suggestions for success in resolving your problem so you can get back to your own life as soon as possible.  Contact us today to get started.

The Parenting Plan: Your Child’s Social Life

Friday, March 27th, 2009

Some of the most unexpected arguments between divorced couples arise from things their children want to do that conflict with what the parents want to do.  Sometimes the answer is easy:  with certain events, family comes first.  What happens when the solution isn’t so clear?

Every family affected by divorce runs into this once in a while.  If one parent has a “my way or the highway” attitude, discussions can get pretty heated – especially if the child is getting older and more independent.  If the parents rely on their visitation schedule and their children make other plans, arguments may escalate.

It is tempting to push arguments like this aside.  It takes time to evaluate each situation, and you may feel like your days are already full.  If your parenting plan didn’t allow for a “plan B” as your children become more socially-minded, however, you may end up asking for trouble.  In some cases, children may find their own ways of dealing with unresolved conflict, and their new coping methods can get more emotionally destructive than most parents realize.

A well-prepared parenting plan incorporates elements of “what if” into the family’s mindset.  For instance, laying out the strategies of compromise ahead of time takes a lot of the stress out of setting limits and resolving conflict.  Being able to explain to your children how and why you set those guidelines can also serve as a good example of conflict resolution.  As parents model productive communication, the children can learn more productive ways to cope with disagreements as well.

Using mediation to initiate or update your parenting plan takes less time than you might think.  Most comprehensive plans can be laid out or expanded in a matter of one or two 2-hour sessions, and you have a mediator – a professionally trained expert in conflict resolution – who is there to focus your discussion so it doesn’t get off-track and take up more of your valuable time.

Get control of the stress before it starts.  Call or email CFR Mediation Services to find out how we can help all of you keep the peace in your family.

Gender Differences in Negotiating

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

As much as some of us would like to believe that gender does not matter, there is some evidence that gender can predispose a person to certain behavioral patterns.  In addition, preparing to participate in a mediation session can cause more anxiety for some who are less comfortable asking for what they want and negotiating with others. (more…)

Preparing for Mediation

Wednesday, February 11th, 2009

Being PreparedThose participating in mediation should prepare for each session.  The more prepared each party is, the more efficient and effective the process will be.

Mediation builds on the agreements and shared interests of the parties, and as a result can move quickly. Conflicts and disagreements that have languished for weeks, months, or even years can be quickly resolved in a couple of hours. Such efficiency can be overwhelming for the unprepared.

To prepare for mediation:

  • Complete any preparation paperwork as completely as possible
  • Compile a detailed list of all issues you believe are relevant to the resolution
  • Collect copies of related materials to bring to the mediation
  • Come up with some different ideas to resolve the issues that are being mediated

Remember mediation is voluntary and it is a chance to bring up any and all issues that either party feels is relevant to the resolution.  Mediation agreements are binding, so no agreement should feel rushed or pressured.

Preparing for mediation and for the efficient resolution of the conflict is an important step that should not be overlooked.

Clients of CFR Mediation have full access to a mediation coordinator who helps ensure that everyone is fully prepared for mediation. To learn more about CFR Mediation services, contact us for a no obligation consultation.

Additional Reading:

Mediated Agreement – A Binding Contract

Thursday, January 15th, 2009

Mediated Agreements BindingGenerally speaking, a mediated agreement that results in a signed written document is legally binding as any written contract.

As result, it is important for each party in the dispute to fully participate in the mediation, and to bring all issues in dispute to the table.  Nor should anyone agree to anything without full consideration.

It is not uncommon for disputes of all kinds – business, divorce, custody, workplace issue, etc. – that have lingered for months, or even years, to be resolved a matter of hours with mediation.  At times this expediency can surprise or overwhelm a participant not properly prepared for the mediation session.

Since the agreements made in mediation are binding, it is important that parties in dispute come to the mediation prepared and expect to reach agreement.

Mediated agreements are considered binding as any legal contract. Mediation results in a signed written agreement between two or more parties empowered to make the decisions.

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