So often when someone initially contacts an attorney or mediator, the foremost question often involves entitlements:

“He has this, how much of it can I have?” “This happened __________; I want to make sure I get this ___________.”

Mediation is not about entitlements, it is about creating a resolution that the parties feel good about and voluntarily agree to. The agreements reached in mediation may end up being the same or even more satisfactory than those reached through litigation or other efforts, however they are reached through mutual effort towards resolution versus an “entitlement” process.

When a person in a dispute focuses on “what I am entitled to”, the direction shifts from resolving the issue to one person winning while the other person loses. In other words the focus shifts to the adversarial perspective.

Mediation – whether divorce mediation or mediation for a workplace, business, or other dispute – focuses on defining interests, areas of agreement and building from there. It seems clear that wanting “what a person is entitled to”, focuses and builds on the conflict.

Mediation is remarkably effective in creating a resolution that everyone agrees to. Mediated agreements are voluntary. No one is coerced or otherwise forced into agreeing to something that they deem unfair. Mediation is not about what a person is entitled to, it is about resolving the issue so that everyone can move forward – leaving the unpleasantness behind.

So when a potential client calls and asks: “What am I entitled to?” or “How do I know I am agreeing to the best deal?” CFR responds that the answer is in the final agreement. The final agreement consists of terms that both parties willingly agree to and feel good about. The agreements reached in mediation allow the parties move forward, past the dispute, focusing on where they wish to go in life.

Contact a CFR Mediation Coordinator to find out how mediation can resolve your conflict.

Related Posts:

• Role of the CFR Mediation Coordinator
• Divorce Mediation & The Mediation Coordinator
• Role of Emotions In Conflict
• Co-Parenting Issue: Religion
• Divorce Attorneys: How Do They Divorce?
• Divorce Options

Tags: agreements, divorce, entitled to, entitlements, interests, Mediation, voluntary

This entry was posted on Monday, February 22nd, 2010 at 12:03 am and is filed under About Mediation, Communication Tips, Divorce Mediation, Employee Benefits, Litigation, Mediation, Parenting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.