Conflict Coaching

Conflict & Emotional Positions

Conflict is unpleasant and seldom expected.

Whether a conflict with a co-worker, friend, or family member – efforts to resolve a dispute often are thwarted by the emotions related to the conflict.

Our emotional reactions to things, people, and events help form our “positions” about them. Once our positions are formed we tend to look at them as “truths”. And we go to great lengths to support and prove them as truths. This can present a significant problem in conflict resolution – even with the most experienced mediator.

Positions are emotional – and often they prevent movement towards desired goals. Protecting our positions can block us from actually working towards the desired outcomes. Positions are polarizing: they send those in conflict to opposite corners – as far away from the middle as possible. Even in mediation, the emotional positions can sabotage the best efforts to reach agreement.

Conflict Coaching

Coaching that assists individuals identify the emotions creating their positions, as well as clarifying the desired interests, can greatly facilitate the resolution process. CFR Mediation includes conflict coaching by trained professionals in every mediation package. Most clients find that they benefit from a trained coach assisting them in identifying interests and developing strategies to work around their emotional barriers and towards resolution and agreement.

This is not therapy. Instead coaching is individualized targeted intervention focused on assisting each client in participating in mediation based on the interests and desired resolution of the conflict, while working around the polarizing positions.

Coaching can be especially helpful in cases where the relationship between those in conflict is long lasting and must continue once the resolution has occurred, such as family members or parents of minor children. In these cases the resolution may only be a beginning of a new structure in an ongoing relationship. Making agreements based on interests and not emotional positions ensures a greater likelihood of positive experiences for all those involved including children.

Our Conflict Coaches

CFR Mediation employs trained coaches to provide conflict coaching to our clients. Our coaches have a master degree in social work or psychology, in addition to having the specialized skills required to effectively provide targeted coaching services to our mediation clients.

A CFR Mediation Coordinator is available, at no cost or obligation, to answer any questions that either party may have about our services. Contact us to request to speak to a mediation coordinator; we can schedule a phone consultation at your convenience.