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New York’s real life War of the Roses divorce was finalized after six years and likely at least $1.5 million in legal fees. It is likely not over.
Simon and Chana Taub, married in December 1984. Chana filed for divorce twenty-one years later in 2005. This was the second marriage for both. Together they have four children in addition to their children from previous marriages. (more…)
Most divorcing couples find that they are in a period of high conflict. Some have experienced constant arguments and fights for months or years; some are reacting to a sudden change of heart.
Regardless of the circumstances and presentation, conflict between divorcing partners exists and is often seemingly impossible to navigate. Most often impending divorce results in a traditional type of intervention: retaining attorneys and asking them to resolve the issues, however divorce mediation is a better option for the vast majority of couples and families. (more…)
Pre-paid legal plans have become more and more popular. Many join plans offered as a payroll deduction at work, while others seek out such plans as a protection for their families; even the AARP has a legal plan for members. It can seem impossible never to need an attorney and these plans provide a basic level of legal service for a minimum cost.
The legal services generally covered in monthly plan fees include document review for such things as simple wills and contracts, as well as the paperwork completion in simple uncontested divorces. It can be frustrating and costly, (more…)
Over the past few years there has been a lot of news about the abysmal state of the housing market. These waters have been rough for homeowners and sadly, many have faced foreclosure and ultimately, evictions from their homes. With these problems being such a pandemic, there has been a large amount of media attention given to the mortgage crisis. In the swarm of information we receive in the news everyday, the media consensus generally places the fault of the mortgage crisis on the shoulders of the homeowners, intimating that they bit off more than they could chew in pursuing sub-prime mortgages, and in buying houses they “could not afford”. (more…)
When it comes to medical malpractice, litigation is a grossly ineffective approach to resolving the dispute. Litigation, especially in medical malpractice matters, is a long process, often taking many years to reach an end. Beyond its sheer length, medical malpractice litigation is also incredibly expensive. The costs to all parties in their stress and their time alone is high, even without taking into consideration the gigantic fees charged by expert witnesses in these matters. Another problem arises when a medical malpractice case finally reaches the trial phase. Juries are most often collections of laypeople with little or no medical training or background. Usually, they simply do not grasp the medical issue at hand and the expensive experts seldom adequately educate the jury on what they need to know in order to make an informed decision and award. (more…)
Conflict is expensive. Regardless of the nature of the dispute, conflict is expensive.
Divorce is no exception. Couples choosing the traditional route of a litigated divorce can spend thousands of dollars in divorce court. Choosing mediation versus litigation – even choosing mediation versus just living with the conflict – greatly lessens the costs. Even high-conflict (more…)
No matter what type of conflict you are facing, being prepared is the key to getting the most out of the mediation process.
Whether you are looking at divorce, a business dispute, personal injury, or any of the other myriad of conflicts that are ripe for mediation, the first step you should take – and the most important question you should ask – is, “what is it that I truly want?” Going into the mediation session with this question answered can help you slice through all the extraneous issues and lend to making your mediation the most effective tool it can be to get you to a resolution.
Another good way to get ready for your mediation is to do a little research. The internet can bring the knowledge of the world right to your desktop; take advantage of this resource to verse yourself in things like the mediation process, what to expect in your situation, and the vocabulary generally used in your dispute. A little time spent making yourself comfortable in the topic area of your conflict will pay off in making you more confident at the mediation – it will also help you narrow your focus on the outcome you truly seek.
Along with doing some general research to prepare yourself, also do your homework on your own emotional positions. Set a goal for what you want to accomplish and go into the mediation knowing what you want, and more importantly, why you want it. If possible, try to talk to others who have gone through the process, use what worked for them and their experiences to help formulate that demands and goals you will approach the mediation with. Access some conflict coaching to better understand your interests versus your emotional positions.
Being prepared also helps you go into the mediation in a interest-based “thinking mode”, rather than an emotional “reactive mode”. The difference between thinking and reacting is that when one is thinking – their contemplative self is assessing the situation and evaluating options in order to reach a feasible outcome. Contrariwise, reacting is an emotional response when one is not prepared. When our emotional core reacts spontaneously to information, especially if that information is stress inducing or unpalatable, the outcome is generally rash and often over-the-top. These emotional reactions is just the opposite of what lends to an effective mediation. Preparing beforehand allows you to sit down at the mediation table having thought out the different sides or facets of the conflict – and with a goal in mind, avoid emotional reactions that can jeopardize the success of the mediation.
Take the time to be prepared for your mediation. You have made a good choice in deciding to take your dispute the mediation route, and will give your conflict the greatest chance of being swiftly resolved when you come to the table with a little preparation.
Additional Reading:
Of all personal injury type cases, medical malpractice cases can be the most expensive and time consuming to take to trial. The litigation process in medical malpractice matters call for extensive record review and the opinions and testimony of expensive medical experts. In an effort to bring a speedier and more cost-effective resolution to medical malpractice claims, Connecticut has passed a statute requiring that all medical malpractice cases be referred to a 120 day mediation period.
Under Connecticut’s program, the presiding judge in a medical malpractice matter would conduct the first mediation. If the case failed to be resolved at this initial session, the parties could then agree to continue the mediation process. The stated purpose for Connecticut’s programs is to achieve a prompt settlement or resolution of the civil action.
Connecticut’s push for mediation of medical malpractice claims is a concept that can be applied everywhere. The goal of mediation in general is to provide parties with a forum to move ahead with prompt and amicable settlement of their disputes; without incurring the deep expense traditional litigation tends to generate.
Instead of the protracted journey that a medical malpractice claim can be, complete with lengthy and expensive depositions of expert witnesses, and extensive document review, consider mediation up front. Bringing all the parties to the table, with the assistance of a neutral mediator, can result in a swift outcome. Once the parties become engaged in a discussion of the bare facts of their dispute, a solution often becomes clear. Reaching this point at the beginning of a dispute, rather than waiting until the drawn-out litigation process has begun, can result in the parties resolving the claim with a result everyone involved can feel positive about and with a substantial cost savings.
“I’ll see you in court!” It is practically expected that if a conflict is to be resolved it will resolved in the courts. Litigation: both sides retain legal representation: the lawyers fighting things out, each side working to win and making the other side lose.
Litigating (going to court) is an adversarial process where each attorney or lawyer is charged with achieving the best result for an individual client. Not all litigated cases end up in trial, however the adversarial process of litigation starts long before a trial occurs.
An attorney, acting as legal counsel, is tied to one person and is ethically bound to place their needs/wants of his or her client over those of the other party. This automatically creates a heightened level of conflict, which drags the resolution process out, increases the costs, and takes much of the control of the process and the outcome from those actually personally involved in the dispute.
Too often, the traditional litigation process makes everything a bargaining point. Parties in conflict going through litigation are encouraged to think in terms of “yours and mine”, versus focusing on means to resolve the dispute and move forward. For example, in divorces and custody disputes, parents may find that holiday time with their kids become a “card to be played” to increase financial support or speed up the process of dividing property.
In addition to the increased discord that occurs in the litigation process is the increase in financial and other costs. It is not unusual for disputes that seem at the onset fairly simple to escalate into thousands of dollars. There are non-monetary costs as well.
There are, of course, some instances where litigating or turning to lawyers is the best choice. However, in general it should not be assumed that “taking someone to court” is the best way to solve whatever conflict arises.
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Additional Reading:
One of mediation’s most praised qualities is the fact that it is an incredibly cost-effective option in contrast with traditional litigation. Although cost may not be a pressing concern for high net-worth individuals, mediation offers many attractive features that make it the ideal route for high net-worth divorces.
Likely the most salient concern high net-worth couples may hold is their privacy. When litigating, your marriage goes public. As there are a large amount of assets at stake, you and your spouse’s history is all evidence and will become public record. In extreme cases, this can become an embarrassing public circus. Conversely, the mediation model avoids the spectacle of a divorce trial, allowing all parties to work out the details behind the scenes and obtain a civilized divorce.
Additionally, divorce can be bad for business. Oftentimes, high net-worth individuals reached that position through business ownership. If the business is publicly traded, it may cause apprehension among investors if they see a pending divorce that includes business assets as part of the anticipated decree on the prospectus. Choosing to mediate offers the parties options to manage this sort of outcome. Sitting down with a neutral mediator can facilitate a dialogue between the parties and can help craft an agreement that is in the best interest of both spouses and causes the least long-term damage and embarrassment.
While these concerns may especially affect high-net worth individuals, there is no reason why every single person considering divorce cannot benefit by the features that divorce mediation has to offer. We all hold our privacy near-and-dear to our hearts and utilizing private mediation can keep our private affairs just that. In the big picture, mediation is the natural way to resolve disputes. Through the assistance of the neutral mediator, working together with the other side, and having substantial input on the ultimate solution the parties come to give individuals a feeling of satisfaction with the outcome of the mediation. Unlike in litigation where parties are ultimately “told” what to do, in mediation, they “decide” what to do – the control is all yours. People with high net-worth, to people with few-to-no assets can all benefit from mediating, rather than litigating, their divorce.
