http://www.facebook.com/pages/CFR-Mediation/271140287576
When you have small children, the the word “divorce” can bring on the most devastating feelings in the world. You wish you had time to process that sense of being blown away, but the little ones need most of your time and attention. Feeling so frazzled, it is hard enough to deal with the present, let alone the future.
Parents who are divorcing with very young children may not imagine that there are many choices to be made about where they will live and who is responsible for what. School days and teenage years come sooner than you think, though, so although it’s hard to visualize this, parents of infants and toddlers might want to take a few minutes to consider a few things before they sign anything. It may mean less parenting conflict and cost later.
Here is a partial list to get you started:
- What is the parenting schedule during the school year?
- What is the parenting schedule during the summer?
- How will weekends, school breaks, and summer vacations be handled?
- How will religious differences be handled?
- How will grandparents be involved?
- Who will pay for what part of the children’s school tuition or activities?
- Who will be responsible for transportation to and from school/activities?
- How much notice will be needed for schedule changes?
- Who is given the tie-breaking vote in the event of a disagreement?
- How are you going to make decisions about school
- Who gets the tax deduction and/or tax credits for each child?
- Who will pay for what part of the children’s medical/dental/vision expenses?
- Who will be responsible for any health insurance?
- How will you handle college expenses?
It is hard to picture the littlest one with a graduation cap on, isn’t it? Make the best out of this difficult time and encourage yourself to develop good co-parenting communication skills now. Consider using parenting mediation as the mediator can assist in keeping the focus on the children, lessening the negative impact of the emotion between the parents. Growing up with divorced parents does not need to mean childhood memories of angry, fighting parents.
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Additional Reading:
- Why Divorcing Couples Should Try Mediation First
- Desired Outcomes in Mediation
- Virtual Visitation Option for Divorced Parents
- We Can’t Talk to One Another, Can We Mediate
- Communication Tip: IM, Email, Text, IM
- Co-Parenting Issue
- Think of the Children – the Importance of Child Custody Agreements
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Tags: child custody, children, co-parenting, divorce, family, Parenting, parenting plan
